The Truth About Marriage

Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck

Marriage is hard.

I once heard it said that years 1-5 are the hardest.

Let me be clear, it’s all hard.

Some days it’s hard work.

Some days it’s hard to believe every day doesn’t feel like that one because it’s just that good.

Some days it’s hard to remember why you got married.

Some days it’s hard to imagine life before your spouse because you’re that much in rhythm that it feels like they’ve always been there.

Sometimes it’s easy to be intimate in the bedroom but hard to be intimate with our feelings.

Marriage is not a wedding day.

Marriage is not a 3 carat ring in the perfect setting.

Marriage is not rose petals laid at your feet as you walk down the aisle.

Marriage isn’t a trip to Vegas with your buddies to get into a little mischief before you settle down.

Marriage is a choice.

A hard choice.

to love, to stay, to pursue, to open up, to tell the truth, to protect what’s sacred,

to fight fair, to pray, to sacrifice, to adjust, to compromise, to be faithful in heart,

emotion and body, to give, to receive, to forgive, to apologize, to grow, to admit,

to do the hard things.

People change. This is a real truth that we often fail to not only realize but accept

and prepare for. PEOPLE CHANGE.

When our spouse changes and evolves it is a CHOICE to love them THROUGH that change

just as it is a CHOICE to leave.

When we don’t protect the sacred ground of our marriage…with all it’s splendor &

ordinary alike…

When we allow our hearts to find comfort in another

or we allow bitterness to turn our hearts and backs to our beloved,

we have forgotten the truth that marriage is a choice to love another

unconditionally, with all of you, even when it hurts.

Yes, love hurts.

It hurts your pride, your selfishness, your arrogance.

Love is relentless and in constant pursuit.

It longs to rip out all that is dark and muddy in the nooks and corners of our hearts

only to leave light and rapture there to produce good in us.

You see, love is the very essence of God. God who gave His very heart and laid it on a

cross to be bruised and broken open in order to bring us back to Him.

Love — God who never leaves, always stays, even when we are unfaithful.

But, we reject the good…the love when it doesn’t look or feel the way we want

…. because real love is rooted in sacrifice.

It is hard.

The truth about marriage is it is hard.

It is the choice to endure with hands and hearts clasped together

so when the hard waves crash against you….

instead of letting go…

you hold on tighter.


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