Like a Child

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My prayers have been changing. 

They’ve been evolving from “Lord, fix this person…this situation…give me more of this ” 

to….

“I want to see you like a child sees you”.

My children are often like gigantic marquees reminding me of how multi-dimensional God’s love is. 

I’m an adult. And let’s face it….sometimes as adults…we suck. 

We’re so consumed by…well let me just talk about me….this may not be your plight. 

Sometimes I’m so consumed by the responsibilities of adulthood that I fall into the trap of micro-managing rather than living.  And I hate it.  I hate when everything has gone according to schedule; homework, reading, chores, dinner, bath time, bed time, learn your script time, learn 4 songs for church time — it’s all gone according to schedule, but I’m left feeling drained and exhausted instead of inspired and exhausted. Some might think we’re not supposed to be inspired every single day.  But have you seen this planet? Have you traveled across oceans to other countries? Have you taken a road trip that led you to scenery you’d never seen before? Have you ever seen fog dance over a mountain in the morning?  — ( like the Colorado Rockies that frightened and enchanted us as we drove to California ) . Have you ever watched the sun rise? Have you ever walked on a beach of sand and felt the the grains in between each toe?  The God that created the world is not a boring God.  He’s creative, colorful, and expressive. As His child…shouldn’t I be as well? 

I was watching my daughter dance barefoot in the kitchen the other day. She was absolutely, positively in my way as I was trying to cook dinner.  I asked her at least twice to move towards the hallway.  But she must’ve like the feeling of the tile on her bare feet, and although she’d move towards the carpeted hallway, she’d somehow drift back to the kitchen floor. 

She swayed. 

She danced. 

She hummed. 

She tossed her imaginary hair. 

She smiled. 

She even jumped. 

And I was so moved that I began to sway, dance, hum, toss my hair, jump and smile…right along with her. 

The rice on the stove burned. It burned badly in fact. 

But in that moment, I got lost in the dancing and the freedom. 

It wasn’t until that night as she was whispering her prayers with that same abandonment, that I realized that what I desire more than anything…is to love God like a child. 

No fear. 

No rules. 

No hesitance. 

No micro-managing. 

No schedule. 

Just complete, intentional, reckless love for Jesus. 

Faith that knows He is, and that’s enough. 

Belief that lingers through every storm and disappointment. 

Trust that never leans out, but always leans in. 

Joy that dances. 

I want that….again. 

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